Pirates of the Caribbean was never supposed to work. The film was born out of an initiative, started by former Disney CEO Michael Eisner, to mine the company’s many theme park attractions for potential movie franchises. It was already off to a wobbly start with Brian De Palma’s Mission to Mars and, er, The Country Bears. And pirate movies, of any kind, were seen as box office kryptonite, especially since the last big budget endeavor, 1995’s Cutthroat Island, bankrupted its studio and made the Guinness Book of World Records for the biggest flop. While in production, Disney executives were nervous about Johnny Depp’s fey portrayal of the lead pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, and the dark tone being conjured by director Gore Verbinski. When the film was released in 2003, it was the first Disney film to carry a PG-13 rating.
And yet somehow, Pirates of the Caribbean has become one of Hollywood's most dependably bankable franchises. Even the last film, 2017’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, which was already mired in Depp’s controversial private life, grossed $800 million worldwide. And as it was inspired by a theme park attraction, so has it inspired theme park attractions, with Jack Sparrow being added to the classic attraction and a brand new, state-of-the-art ride based on the franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle for the Sunken Treasure, developed for Shanghai Disneyland (it debuted with the rest of the park in 2016). There have been rumors over the past few years of the franchise receiving a reboot, with Margot Robbie set to lead an all-female cast, written by Christina Hodson. However, Robbie recently confirmed that the idea has been put to bed. And with the highly public and controversial private life of its lead actor, it remains unclear as to which direction the franchise will take next with the sixth film.
But which Pirates of the Caribbean entry is the most swashbuckling, supernatural creature-filled joy? And which entry should be stranded ashore. You’ll have to read on to find out, ya lousy landlubber.
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Proof that just because it was teased at the end of the last movie doesn’t mean you have to follow through on it, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides follows Jack, Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), and several new and mostly uninteresting characters as they all compete for the Fountain of Youth. (You know, that old chestnut.) This is the first Pirates entry to be partially based on a novel (Tim Powers’ 1987 award-winner On Stranger Tides) and the first to heavily feature real-life historical figures like King George (Richard Griffiths) and Blackbeard (Ian McShane). It was also the first entry to not be directed by Gore Verbinski. Instead, Chicago director Rob Marshall took over duties, accepting the job because of the film's new storyline and new characters.
This way, he’d be able to add to the story with his own style and without too much of a noticeable difference from the franchise's dedicated fanbase. You’d think that Marshall would give the movie a kind of outsized theatricality. But this is arguably the drabbest-looking and most sluggishly-paced entry. One of the biggest impacts that Marshall had on the film though, was his direction of fight scenes. Having previously worked as a choreographer, Marshall was able to bring his understanding of dance and stage theatrics to the set, making the action scenes feel similar to the big numbers of Broadway productions, with the audience's attention being pulled to specific characters while the fight rages on around them.
Also, with a budget of over $400 million, it remains the most expensive movie of all time, which is truly unfathomable. You can feel the team (which includes returning screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio) stretching to bring back hallmarks of the series – the mystical elements include killer mermaids (responsible for the movie’s sole memorable moment), an anthropomorphic ship (Queen Anne’s Revenge) and a very questionable depiction of voodoo. (There’s staggering little connection to the original attraction, aside from a bed festooned with human skeletons and a scene set within burning rafters.) Sure, McShane and Penelope Cruz chew the scenery wonderfully and Depp doesn’t seem to be totally phoning it in, but the spark that made the first three movies, that slightly uncomfortable nuttiness, has been snuffed out. It feels, for the first time, like something solely born of corporate priorities and spreadsheet configurations and lacks any sort of fun. Also, there’s a bewildering, uncomfortably horny Judi Dench cameo that I had completely forgotten about before re-watching.
Amazingly, even with that astronomical budget, it made more than $1 billion worldwide with Marshall becoming the first gay filmmaker to have a movie crack that threshold.
4. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
The fifth and most likely final entry starring Johnny Depp starts out well enough, with both a callback to the first three films (complete with Orlando Bloom appearance, this time as a slightly more sea creature-y hunk) and a genuinely scary introduction of our new villain, Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), a partially destroyed ghost who oozes black goop like Danny DeVito in Batman Returns. (There’s also a fun, Fast Five-y chase where Captain Jack and his confederates steal an entire bank.) But there’s a lot of unnecessary running around, looking for not one but two mystical doodads – Jack’s beloved compass (canonically Tia Dalma gave him the compass but, thanks to an elaborate flashback complete with a digitally de-aged Johnny Depp, that bit is retconned) and the Trident of Poseidon, said to be the key to unlocking Salazar from his unholy purgatory and free Bloom’s Will Turner from servitude commanding Davy Jones’ (voiced and performance-captured by Bill Nighy) army.
While an original script by franchise mainstay Terry Rossio was abandoned (Depp didn’t like the female villain, which he thought hedged too close to Dark Shadows), it’s clear that new writer Jeff Nathanson was tasked with deepening the mythology and tying it back to the original movies (new characters, played by Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario, are the children of series mainstay characters), which isn’t exactly the easiest thing to pull off. And things certainly aren’t helped by Depp, who seems only marginally interested in being there (reports were that he had his lines fed to him via an earpiece hidden underneath his costume) and only physically able to do a small percentage of the stunts. (Tom Cruise he is not.)
A different kind of curse than that of the Black Pearl, the production faced a number of additional issues that caused setbacks while filming, including a capuchin monkey wandering off-set to bite a makeup artist, an armed man in full Jack Sparrow garb attempting to bypass security of a film site, and an on-set injury of Scodelario who fell on the wet decks of the Dying Gull requiring her to wear her arm a sling.
Norwegian directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg do a terrific job of giving the action sequences some vibrancy (a moment where Jack is nearly guillotined feels like a Disney theme park ride) even when the material is obviously subpar, even staging a Paul McCartney cameo that is more fun than awkward. Considering the next film is looking like a complete reboot/overhaul, all of the worldbuilding and callbacks (including a post-credits scene suggesting the return of Davy Jones and somehow coercing Keira Knightley to return) will never be followed through on unless the sixth film ends up continuing the story of Carina Barbossa, as Kaya Scoldelario is the only person contractually obligated to appear in the sixth film so far. Oh, and the only connection to the attraction is the title, spoken by the eerie skull and crossbones.
3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)
Sure, this is the least dazzling movie in Gore Verbinski’s original trilogy, but it’s still pretty wonderful. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, this time festooned with the Disney castle logo at the beginning (it was left off the first film for fears that its darkness shouldn’t be associated with Disney), was hugely anticipated and set a number of mind-boggling box office records, including, at the time, being the quickest film to make $1 billion at the global box office and the highest-grossing Disney film ever. You can feel that Verbinski and the production were more comfortable this time around; the fear of crafting a huge studio movie in a genre that had historically been unsuccessful was gone. Instead, a new fear replaced it: making a movie as good (and as beloved) as the original.
The film nearly wasn’t made as the studio threatened to cancel the film one month before principal photography began due to the unfinished script. Rather than walking the proverbial plank, the writers ended up accompanying the cast on set and handled rewrites in person, something that they lived to tell the tale of in a behind-the-scenes video. In the second film of what was meant to be a trilogy, the writers decided to explore what would happen to Will and Elizabeth after the fateful final scene of the first, while also getting to dive into what else lurks below the ocean's surface. With a trove of pirate lore at their fingertips, as the genre hadn’t been touched for some time, they considered such legends as the Fountain of Youth before deciding on Davy Jones and the Kraken.
If Dead Man’s Chest suffers from anything, it’s the bloat that goes along with making a sequel of this scale and complexity; with all of the competing character motivations and the cast scattered on byzantine sub-adventures (Jack Sparrow outrunning Davy Jones, Elizabeth on some boat, Will reconnecting with his father, who has been turned into a hideous aqua-mutant), it’s easy to get lost in the sauce. But there are just as many things that work about the sequel, and the introduction of Davy Jones is genuinely inspired. Yes, he’s a horrible sea creature, but he’s also memorably heartsick, playing his organ with his tentacles and so protective of his heart he locks it in a box (hence the title). Sure, the weird romantic subplot between Keira Knightley and Depp, even if it is a ruse that ends in her leaving him for dead, feels forced and unnecessary, and its 151-minute runtime is occasionally punishing, but what a delight. (Nobody could believe that cliffhanger.)
The notable translation from the original ride, by the way, mostly has to do with the realm of Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), dressed up like the introductory show scenes from the attraction as you float through the bayou.
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl had a notoriously problematic production, filled with second-guesses and cold feet. Michael Eisner slapped the subtitle on the movie right before the movie came out because he was worried about the movie being too closely associated with the Disneyland attraction, even though the Black Pearl isn’t even cursed. His skittishness is understandable, but the subtitle was an abrupt and baffling reverse course; the first teaser poster and trailer for the film directly Xeroxed a moment from the attraction (the skeleton holding onto the ship’s steering wheel). He shouldn’t have been worried. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl wound up being an absolute sensation and Depp even secured an Oscar nomination for his role as the foppish Captain Jack Sparrow, something that seems to have been completely forgotten about all these sequels later. (He lost to Sean Penn in Mystic River, so there’s that.)
After developing it for years as a more straightforward pirate adventure, producer Jerry Bruckheimer became involved and assigned Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio to the project, who added the supernatural elements that really set it apart, with the cursed pirates (led by Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa) turning into undead skeletons in the moonlight. Verbinski has a field day with this idea, particularly in a climactic battle, where, amongst other things, he has the pirates darting in and out of moonbeams, turning from man to monster and back again. (There’s a moment where a bomb is thrown into a skeletal pirate and then pushed into a shadow, where his human self then explodes.) And it’s moments like these, crammed into every nook and cranny, that made the movie such a refreshing surprise. It was wild and unhinged and felt dangerous and new (Eisner was nervous about the Disney logo being ahead of the movie so the film just starts).
You can tell that they never thought there’d be a sequel by the amount of callbacks and references to the original ride, with the song being sung (including in that captivating final moment), and whole show scenes being recreated verbatim (like the entire interlude in Tortuga). It was the first time one of Eisner’s theme-park-based-movies was as much fun as the attraction itself.
1. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)
The most melancholic and most considerably bizarre entry in the franchise, it was filled with the dread that accompanied the death of adventure. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Disney’s big movie for the summer 2007 season (and by some accounts the most expensive movie of all time at that point) begins with the graphic hanging of a little kid. Whoa. From there things only get stranger, including but not limited to the interlude with the Asian pirate league (led by Chow Yun-Fat), the journey that the gang takes to the afterworld to retrieve Jack (with multiple Jacks, including one that lays an egg, and those crab-rock monsters), a pirate council meeting (with Keith Richards showing up as Jack’s father) and a deepening of the mythology to include an ancient sea goddess posing as one of the crew (Harris’ Tia Dalma).
Yes, at 168 minutes, it is way too long, but it is also full of incredible moments that will never leave your memory, many of them taking place in the climactic third act that sees the pirate guild battling the East India Trading Company in a typhoon’s whirlpool. (Jack and Elizabeth getting married during the calamity is so good, and his sacrifice right after is even better.) My favorite moment from the climactic battle: Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander), who dies amidst his ship exploding, has his hand caressing a banister while in beautiful slow motion it splinters into a million pieces. You can tell that Verbinski was interested in the battle between freedom and corporate interests, in the twilight of Jack Sparrow. Framed in that light, it makes At World’s End even more bittersweet and poignant. (Depp and Verbinski would return to these themes for their underrated western The Lone Ranger.)
Hazily marketed by Disney not as the event film it should have been teased as but rather just another adventure, it didn’t make as much money as Dead Man’s Chest and was seen as something of a disappointment. And while this may be the furthest entry from the original attraction, that’s not entirely true – in the moment where our heroes cross over into the netherworld at the very beginning, you can hear actual audio from the Disneyland attraction. At World’s End would have been a lovely place to conclude the franchise.
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